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Sob.
I dun think that devastated can describe the feeling I have now.. It's horrible.. I wish I could not think bout it.. How I hope that can happen.. Perhaps I can drown myself in anime to prevent me from thinking about it..
I just told my friend not to think of the cheem problem he has.. I thought it would be easy.. I really did.. Now, I have a great problem myself and am crazy about it.. I can't stop thinking about it.. It's so sad.. Really..
I came back from China last mth.. Feeling very sad.. I went there on the sole purpose of buying the anime I want there.. Yes, I did buy some anime, but the one I longed for wasn't there.. I was grief-stricken by it.. It was devastating for me.. How I wanted that SLAM DUNK anime in Jap so much.. I have the whole set of comics and vcds.. But my vcds are in Chinese.. I want the Jap one.. I want it badly.. I'm in despair..
Why am I suddenly wanting it again? That shop.. In North Point.. It's a new shop I guess.. It rents anime dvds and vcds.. It sells anime posters.. Oh I really wish I could stay in that shop for a little longer.. I saw SLAM DUNK dvd.. In Jap.. It's renting.. the whole set for $15 for 16 days.. I want it.. Desire for it.. Crave for it.. Yearn for it.. I wanted to see if they're selling it.. Then, my bro told me that he had finished buying his bag.. i.e. I have to go home immediately.. Heart-broken.. Heavy hearted.. Crestfallen.. Forlorn.. Dejected.. Depressed.. All this can't even explain 10% of what I'm feeling..
I hate it when I see something within my reach to buy yet can't due to some restrictions.. Time.. This is J2 year.. Even though I do not want to, it's difficult to find enough time to watch the anime I want.. J2 year sucks.. It's tiring.. My life seems colourless and monotonous.. It's black and white.. Now, all that fills my life would be my anime.. Anime is my fuel for the week.. Hate to admit it, but.. I'm starting to question myself of my ability to keep up.. Can I really juggle school work and my life? The life I want seem to be running away from me.. Further and further.. As if I can never get it back.. Perhaps it's true..
Feeling so blue..
All Hail Britannia on Sunday, January 08, 2006
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